Today was a cool summer day in Rochester… blue sky, sun, and a wonderful breeze from the lake that refreshened. It was a day spent with the next generation of nieces and nephews, a time to reflect as the Millennials continue to come of age! 

There is a time for giving thanks… and watching nieces and nephews find their way in life is indeed one such time. Traveling to Rochester to see them is really two trips: the physical travel and the deeper journey to see who they are becoming…

Several of you are now starting college, others starting jobs, others trying to sort through what you want to do in life. You are all indeed on a journey.  It is an interesting experience to watch this unfold. Their choice of who, what and how to pursue their dreams continues to surprise and, after some initial natural doubts and worries, delight. 

One of my favorite passages returned to me today…

The question of the play (Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet) is this: Which love is pre-eminent? Is it the love to which you are born — your family, your religion and your tradition — the love of one’s own? Or is it the acquired love, the one you have chosen because it pleases you as an individual?

Indeed, which love is pre-eminent? Many young today end up returning to “the love to which you are born” and not pursuing the love they chose because it pleases them. This can result in much frustration, even bitterness, as the tension builds between what is expected by those to whom we are born, family, friends, community, and one’s own soul, the love one chooses, whether a person, a career, a way of life. 

Children have limited options and tend to be taught “the love of one’s own.” As they become adults, the pre-eminence of “acquired love,” of choices made because it pleases oneself, creates the crucible that forms character and individual identity. Often their is much stress between the “love of one’s own” and the “chosen love.”

For the adults charged with forming the next generation, this is a hard time. These new “acquired loves” often create doubts, worries, and concerns. Uncles, aunts, parents, other adults instinctively prefer that our youth not leave the “love of one’s own” mode. But just as we had to make our decisions, our youth today have to choose who and what to love. I’m still learning and acquiring an appreciation for the passions and choices they are making and pursuing today. Watching this happen sometimes helps create a little self-reflection…

The love to which I was born, my family, the Church, Rochester, was left behind more than 30 years ago when I chose what pleased me: Ana, Puerto Rico, being an entrepreneur. I found myself moving from “the love of one’s own” to “the love one has chosen.” It is an important moment – moving from loving our parents, family, friends, community, to chosing who and what to love. 

I am happy to continue to learn about the Millennials’ choices. There is much to learn: who and what they will love, their ideals, passions, goals. The more I understand their choices, the more I hope to understand them. It is a humbling moment to begin to know nieces and nephews as fully adult individuals pursuing their own convictions, passions, choices.

Perhaps it is a quite human process… adults watching children mature into adults and make their individual choices, pursue what they love, follow their own passions, at the same time those adults have to become more concerned with the love of one’s own and the care and nurturing of the future.

So today as a new group of young contemplate who and what they will love, it seems a good time to remember the words of a giant of our tradition. St. Francis prayed…

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection,starvation and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy.

May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done. 

Amen.